The 100 Most Popular Deadspin Posts Of 2012

We have our own delicate sensibilities about our favorite posts of the year. You can find them on many of our other year-in-review lists. But this isn't our show alone. Deadspin is a community, with lots of readers, all with their own favorites. So here is our attempt at democracy—a list of the top 100 Deadspin posts of 2012, measured by unique visitors. This is what you like. "They Won't Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster": Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage To The Politician Who Is Offended By An NFL Player Supporting It Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. More » Here's The Opening Ceremony Tribute To Terrorism Victims NBC Doesn't Want You To See The major transitional element of today's London Olympics opening ceremony was a downtempo performance of adoptive sporting anthem "Abide With Me" by Scottish singer Emeli Sandé. More » Video: A Couple Humped In A Yankee Stadium Bathroom Stall For About Three Innings On Saturday [NSFW] Video right this way. Lots of male ass (beneath a C.C. Sabathia jersey), so proceed with caution. More » NBC Aired A Bare Breast During Live Water Polo Coverage Today [NSFW] NBC is actually airing live Olympics right now, as the Spain-United States women's water polo match is underway. They may decide to end the practice entirely and go all-tape delay, though, as an underwater shot aired earlier revealed a bit more than they bargained for. More » What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT? I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. More » "Take That Nigger Off The TV, We Wanna Watch Football!": Idiots Respond To NBC Pre-Empting NBC pre-empted the first quarter of tonight's 49ers-Patriots game to show President Obama's speech at the Newtown memorial for victims of the Sandy Hook shooting. More » American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave… More » Arrested Drunk Man Sings "Bohemian Rhapsody" In Its Entirety In Back Of Police Car [UPDATE] Dude in the video above wasn't happy about being picked up by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for being intoxicated. The best excuse he can muster is something about "brotherhood of men on the planet earth" before he segues right into singing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." In its entirety. More » This Looks Like A Fortified Sniper's Nest At The Super Bowl Some photos with no backstory are making the rounds, showing what appears to be an Indianapolis police sniper checking out his post in the rafters of Lucas Oil Stadium in the hours or days before the Super Bowl, a post that would be manned when the game began. More » Some Jackass Made Blowjob Pantomimes Behind Home Plate At Wrigley For Nearly An Inning Before Getting Ejected Weather delayed last night's Pirates-Cubs bout at Wrigley Field for several hours, and by the end of the 3-0 Pittsburgh win there weren't many fans left in the stadium. More » This BBC Interview With Chad Le Clos's Father Is The Media Moment Of The Games So Far Moments after South African Chad Le Clos denied Michael Phelps gold in the 200 butterfly, BBC sat down with an ecstatic Bert Le Clos to talk about the surprising victory. More » Jerry Sandusky's Wife Nearly Ran Down A Reporter With Her Car, And It Was All Caught On Camera Yesterday, on the eve of Jerry Sandusky's latest court hearing, Courtney Brennan of Pittsburgh's WPXI-TV was taping a report in front of the Sanduskys' house. More » Is An ESPN Columnist Scamming People On The Internet? [UPDATE] A few weeks ago, ESPN columnist Sarah Phillips concluded her weekly "Junk Mail" column with a question from an unnamed reader:
Rumor has it "Sarah Phillips" isn't a real person and this column is being produced by a ghost writer. More » NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE] Those of us un/fortunate enough to have visited the Krystal restaurant at the mouth of Bourbon Street in New Orleans know it's a place where the occasionally odd, bizarre, or criminal events take place. More » Worst People Ever Catch Foul Ball, Refuse To Give It To A Crying Child, Are Vilified By Michael Kay [UPDATE] An unfortunate scene unfolded in Arlington tonight as a pair of Rangers fans caught a foul ball tossed into the stands by Mitch Moreland in the eighth inning of Rangers-Yankees, then refused to give the ball to the toddler sitting next to them-instead choosing to pose for pictures and… More » "I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; More » Reconstructing Patrick Kane's Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony On Monday we showed you photos of a soused Patrick Kane in Madison, Wis., and then we asked you if you knew more about what happened while Kane was there. More » Was This Disgraceful Olympic Boxing Match Fixed? Knockdowns are exceedingly rare in Olympic boxing. Japan's Satoshi Shimizu knocked down Azerbaijan's Magomed Abdulhamidov five times in the third and final round of their bantamweight bout yesterday. More » Reports: Kansas City Chiefs LB Jovan Belcher Killed His Girlfriend, Drove To The Chiefs Practice Facility, And Killed Himself [Updating] Multiple reports have confirmed that fourth-year Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher shot himself at the Chiefs' practice facility this morning, allegedly after shooting and killing his girlfriend. More » And more: 9 Things I Learned In The Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous Stop Whatever You're Doing, And Watch This Sad Drunk Lady Cry About The Packers Loss Relive McKayla Maroney's Phenomenal Vault In Super-Slow Motion Aspiring Sportscaster Among 12 Killed At Colorado Movie Theater; Last Blog Entry Was First-Person Account Of Eaton Centre Shootings [UPDATE] U.S. Gymnast Danell Leyva Has A Habit Of Sending Half-Naked Photos Of Himself To Women [Kinda NSFW] Finance Guy Keeps Incredibly Detailed, Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects Over Two-Month Period, Bobby Petrino Exchanged 200 Messages With Former Miss Motorcycle Mania Bikini Model Bruins Fans Make Clever Two Minutes For Hooking Sign That Gets Filthy Photoshop Update Here's Patriots Owner Bob Kraft Helping His Girlfriend With Some Kind Of Weird Audition Edson Barboza's Roadhouse-Style Face-Kick Knockout Is Even Better When Slowed Down 500% Rob Gronkowski, Shirtless Matt Light Danced Away Their Sorrows After The Super Bowl David Stern Asked Jim Rome "Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife Yet?" As Today's Interview Turned Ugly Falcons Safety Thomas DeCoud Played The Meow Game During An Interview On SportsCenter And Now For Your U.K. Weather, Where The Forecast Is "Bucketloads Of Cunt" I Can't Stop Looking At This GIF Of These Two Lakers Bros University of Minnesota Wide Receiver A.J. Barker Writes Scathing Goodbye Letter To Head Coach Jerry Kill, Alleging Abuse And Intimidation New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [UPDATE: A Bunch Of Other Teams Hacked Too] Karl Rove In Denial, Melts Down On Fox News, Attempts To Get Network To Rescind Calling Election NBC Responds: We Removed The Opening Ceremony Memorial To Terrorism Victims Because The Tribute Wasn't About America Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever Yes, M.I.A. Just Flipped Off The World Fat Chipper Jones Has Divorced His Wife And Is Now Dating Playboy Model Taylor Higgins, AKA Lexi Ray Sage Steele Did Not Appreciate Steve Weissman Suggesting She Flirted With Wes Welker The Making Of "Homer At The Bat," The Episode That Conquered Prime Time 20 Years Ago Tonight Profane Rant By D-III Christian College's Golf Coach Is A Thing To Behold Chinese Diver Wins Gold, Is Finally Told That Her Mother Has Cancer And Her Grandparents Died A Year Ago Meet The Boxing Coach Whose Specialty Is Training "A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Wall Street Guys" Banner At High School Football Stadium Has Regrettable Typo Tim Howard Just Scored A Goal D-III Player's 138 Point-Game Is A Sham Record And Shouldn't Be Celebrated By Anyone Here's The Bizarre Kristi Malzahn Interview Somebody's Trying To Sweep Off The Internet Tonight's "Donkey Punch" Made Its Way Onto If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, You're Fucked: 10 Tips For Avoiding Terrible Children's Books The Five Most Racist Cities In America! NBC's No. 1 Tweeting Critic Has Been Suspended From Twitter This Is The Worst National Anthem Rendition Ever Saturday Night Live's "Now I Know What Chicks Feel Like": Tim Lincecum Responds After Being Hit In The "Fucking Face With A Fucking Cork" Fellow Inmates Reportedly Sang "Hey, Teacher! Leave Those Kids Alone" To Jerry Sandusky A South Korean Fencer Is Refusing To Leave The Piste After Being Screwed Out Of A Chance At Gold [UPDATE] J.R. Smith Tweeted A Photo Of "The Girl With The Biggest Ass Ever" Wearing A Thong In His Hotel Room Bed How ESPN Ditched Journalism And Followed Skip Bayless To The Bottom: A Tim Tebow Story Inside The Mind Of NBC's Pervy Cameraman: "BOOBS!" Insane Mountain Bike Announcing Theater: "How Does Danny Hart Sit Down With Balls That Big?!" Edition NBC Interviewed A Random Tourist About The Queen, And Didn't Realize He Was Evander Holyfield Tim Duncan Smoothly Gives Fan The Finger In Most Boring And Fundamentally Sound Athlete Meltdown Ever "Pedobear" Showed Up At The Houston-Penn State Game Today Nebraska's Kenny Bell Delivered The Best Legal Block In College Football This Season, So Of Course He Was Flagged For It The Hater's Guide To Notre Dame I'd Rather Go Through NFL Two-A-Days Or Make Myself Puke In The Pool Than Do What Michael Phelps Does Here's Clint Dempsey's Hat Trick Today, The First-Ever By An American In The English Premier League Here's How Racists On Twitter Reacted to Joel Ward's Series-Winning Goal Against Boston Jerry Lawler Collapses During Live Raw, Has CPR Performed As Michael Cole Informs Viewers 'This Is Not Part Of The Show' [UPDATE] Here Is A Drunk And Racist Texas A&M Fan Starting A Fight In An Airport Stephen A. Smith Thought An Article About Him In The Onion Was Real Stupidest Football Play In History Occurs As Player Returns Fumble 58 Yards In Wrong Direction Only To Have Opponents Tackle Him ESPN Camera Catches Rick Reilly Ordering Stu Scott To Credit His Twitter Feed That's Not A Boner, Says Boner Rower Trying To Do A Cannonball Into A Frozen Swimming Pool Is Not A Good Idea This Is Probably The Woman Who Ripped Donald Driver's Shoe From That Little Kid [UPDATE] This Might Be The World's Most Ingenious Prank Phone Call "I May Have A Small Dick But I Have Big Fucking Balls": The Unsentimental Education Of A Harvard Football Player The U.S. Already Had Gold Locked Up After This Disaster From Russia's Floor World Champion, So NBC Didn't Show It To You We Now Have The Will Ferrell Old Milwaukee Super Bowl Ad In HD, Along With More Info About It Sorry, Mario Balotelli Didn't Really Make This German Fan Cry: How TV Lied To You During Euro 2012 Billy Cundiff Rushed His Kick Because Of An Error On The Gillette Stadium Scoreboard 24-Year-Old Finance Guy Asks All His Dates To Complete A Creepy Survey Afterward Sarah Phillips Admits She "Concealed" Her Identity, Made "Poor Choices With Who To Trust" [UPDATE] Brandon Marshall Took A Picture In Front Of A Big Naked Bear Ass Patrick Kane's Offseason Drinking Regimen Is Off To A Great Start Member Of Prestigious Golf Club Scolds Others For Pissing On The Greens, Cavorting In The Nude, Picking Up A Golf Ball With "Naked Butt Cheeks" And Much More Hey, America, Don't Let Your Children Shit At Restaurant Tables Zlatan Ibrahimovic's Long-Range Bicycle Kick Goal Is A Truly Astounding Athletic Feat Florida State Fan Learns The Hard Way What Happens When You Use A Mirror To Put On Your Face Paint Dear Terry Francona, Please Stop Emailing Photos Of Yourself Half-Naked In A Towel To My Girlfriend Donald Driver Tosses Shoe To Kid At Charity Game, Very Worst Fan Ever Rips It From Kid's Hands [UPDATE] No, Boner Rower Does Not Have A Boner: A Gay Man's Remedial Guide To Penises For Straight Guys Inside A Secret NHL Focus Group: How A Top GOP Strategist Is Helping Hockey Owners Craft Their Lockout Propaganda